hold yourself up to the light…

It starts with hair – how much you have and do you have enough of it? When the blonde walks into the room, we huddle and whisper and wonder if she’s bottle, highlighted, or real. We sit under hot dryers, we weave, we clip, we pin, we iron, we scrunch and we fluff. Pomades, mousses, and newfangled paddle brushes rest at our feet. We look east and south for new methods for managing coarse, unruly hair. And when we clutch our wrinkled magazine cutout of that particular celebrity and we hold it up to the salon’s light, we inquire if we can look just like her. Ours is a culture consumed with hair. Even in a recession, sales of most women’s hair care products are expected to remain steady, with the U.S. hair salon market worth $60 billion alone (Diagonal Reports 2008). According to a report issued by Global Industry Analysts, the global hair care product market is experiencing a massive surge in growth with projected sales of $42.5 billion by 2010. Demand is also on the rise for natural and salon-based products, and salons have responded to the recession by offering “recessionista” cut, color, and blow-out discounts during low-traffic days. Suffice it to say, many women might dust off the statement handbag from five years past and retool her wardrobe by incorporating affordable accessories, but she will use her discretionary income on the maintenance of her hair. Or at least this woman does.

Up until this year I would do anything short of shaving my heads and starting anew in my quest to have straight, fine locks, because for the great portion of my life I convinced myself that there was only one kind of beauty, an archetype of idyllic hair. I wanted bounce, flair, and effortless Breck girl waves or a pin-straight mane. Anything that differed from what I had, which was a mess of tight curls, a hair that wept during the humid months. My reality was comprised of scalp burns, hours under hot dryers, boxes of products that made lofty promises but simply exasperated the frizz and the kink – all in an effort to achieve the kind of hair that very few women realistically and naturally had. And then I gave up and opened my eyes, and I found that I actually liked my reflection. As opposed to the cruel products developed in the 80s and 90s (Revlon relaxers, anyone?), today there are a dizzying array of options for me to maintain my curl and define it. Suddenly the world became brighter because I stopped wanting something that wasn’t me and took comfort in the uniqueness that was me. And while I still blow dry and flat iron my hair, I don’t get panic attacks if I can’t secure a salon appointment, and I’ve fallen in a little in love with my crazy curls, which is, ironically, a hilarious contrast to my type-A personality. So imagine my joy when I attended “An Evening of Reinvention: From Hair to Toe, and From the Inside Out”at Saks Fifth Avenue last week and I happened to listened to Elline Surianello (Founder & CEO of LeMetric Hair Center INC), a brave, captivating, whip-smart, ebullient, and hilarious speaker.

The theme of the evening, as elucidated by the three speakers, was reframing a seemingly negative experience or aspect of our bodies (as in Elline Surianello’ case the loss of her hair) and spinning it into a positive or an opportunity. When Surianello lost her hair, instead of lamenting she grew excited about creating a hairstyle and a look she always wanted. But the moment that put my heart on pause, that made me put down the pen I was fiddling with, Alyson Campbell describes beautifully:

The most moving part of the evening came at the end of the night, when the courageous Ms. Aryn Quinn (CEO of an amazing organization, Beauty Cares) stood up and thanked Elline for going public with this message. Aryn enlightened us all, that at her organization (where they help women who are victims of domestic violence to feel beautiful again), many women come in with chunks of hair missing out of their head, and all they want is to feel beautiful again. Every woman has that right. This prompted Elline to whip off her hair in front of a stunned crowd of 150+ [video below], proving that her look, without her hair, is not one that she could walk proudly through Saks 5th Avenue with. Because THAT is not who she is; she is a strong, sassy, and confident woman–and it’s only fitting that her “look” match her lifestyle.

I’m rarely shocked. I’m rarely left speechless, but surrounded by so many brave women who are dealing with deeper issues in relation to beauty and hair made my embrace my beauty that much more profound.

Because at the end of the day it’s not about holding a picture of someone else up to a light, it’s about holding YOU up to a light. And I’m learning this and reinforcing this with the passage of each day.

Check out what other bloggers are saying about the event:
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Guest of A Guest

Photos courtesy of Kelly Samardak & Belkis Carrasco

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 31st, 2009 at 7:01 am and is filed under beauty, fashion & style, daily murmurs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.