Years ago when I first donned a pair of suede YSL pumps, few heads turned. YSL was not on the tip of anyone’s tongues in 2001. Fashionistas turned up their noses because everyone was wearing the D&G silver strappy sandals with the applique butterflies. Or the cashmere beaded Jimmy Choos. Well, I purchased a pair of those Choos and my feet bled all the way to the meatpacking district. I was so livid that I walked barefoot on the streets of Manhattan, vowing never to be an idiot and spend $300 on shoes that were only a beautified version of Chinese torture.

A lot has changed over the years. What was once the ultimate splurge - $300 on a pair of pumps - has dovetailed into the $1000 statement shoe, which I frankly find ridiculous. In a recent email exchange with a friend, I relayed that the most I’ve ever paid was $600 (for my Louboutins) and believe me when I say that I’ll be buried in those shoes I’ll wear them so much. Mostly I buy shoes from consignment stores or make a few key investments. But to be clear and not give the impression that I have the Rachel Zoe closet, I have a very small shoe collection. Every 5-6 years, I invest in quality, comfortable shoes and keep them in pristine condition. My reliable cobbler resoles, conditions, and adds taps, at a moment’s notice. I don’t buy shoes simply because they’re on sale or they’re of the latest trend; I invest in classics because: a. shopping in department stores with the crowds and pushy salespeople gives me vertigo b. seeing an unworn pair of shoes on my closet and knowing how hard I had to work to buy them makes my blood boil. I simply don’t have the room, am not interested in stockpiling, and don’t want to be reminded of foolish purchases.

But back to YSL. The second change in the industry is that designers have gotten wiser and shoes have become infinitely more comfortable. With foot petals, insoles, and platform stilettos, it is possible to wear tall shoes and not double over in pain. This is not to say one can run about the streets of Manhattan for hours at a stretch, but wearing platform shoes will save you from my barefoot ranting in downtown Manhattan.

And since it’s the dead of winter and my feet are practically bandaged in heavy socks I’m thinking ahead, of warmer months, and the fact that one thing I’m missing in my wardrobe is the sandal. For years I was practical, didn’t wear open-toe shoes because open-toe meant pedicure and who has the money for that? But I’ve gotten with the program, painted, buffed my nails at home, and started to rethink my anti-open-toe stance. And during a recent window-shop at Saks (home of a shoe floor so big it has its own zip code), I slipped into some shoes and fell madly in love with YSL’s power sandals. Pictured here are the Yves Saint Laurent Lola Satin Platform Slides (blue), $595 and Yves Saint Laurent Strappy Platform Sandals, $895 (already spotted on Beyonce). And although clearly I won’t spend this much on sandals, window-shopping gives you ideas & I’m already starting to plan. Keeping my eye open at consignment shops for more affordable alternatives.

But this is simplified, chic dressing at its best. Delicate camisoles, ruffled cardis, fun hats, simple necklaces, and bordeaux, slouchy Joie boots - can you blame me for obsessively scanning the looks? I’m smitten with the juxtaposition of the boyfriend (the vests, boyfriend cardigans and crisp button-downs) and girly looks. I adore the smart, tailored layers (note the mix of fitted/loose pieces), and I have a fondness for oxfords. So on the days when you’re running errands and you don’t have some fictitious life (read: MTV’s The City) where you can totter along in mile-high stilettos, this look is perfect, stylish and fun. Not to mention affordable. One can easily score these items at Gap, Target, Old Navy, what have you. And you’re damn right I want those Dolce Vita oxfords.

Check out the January issue of InStyle for the amazing spreads.

Over the holidays spent in Connecticut with an old, dear college friend, she reminded me of a conversation I had with a fellow student on the eve of our college graduation. This particular student and I were incredibly competitive; we were finance majors who interned at the best investment banks, shared the same classes, and were exclusive members of the honors thesis program. We studied together, compared grades and job interviews, and graduated with the highest honors. While our relationship was in no way acrimonious, there was an obvious undercurrent of fierce competition. Yet, he was always a step ahead while I was left frustrated, felt like I was floundering. I didn’t focus on how good I was rather I fixated on the fact that I would never be better than him.

I would continue for years like this - wondering why I was never good enough, why I couldn’t simply be better. That’s a tough way to live, frankly - always setting the bar high enough where you know it’s impossible to reach.

But back to the holidays. My friend recounted a conversation I had with this student on the eve of our college graduation, and how he admitted that he admired me because I had made him work harder. He saw me as he equal, sometimes more than; I inspired him to achieve. Up until that moment on Christmas day, I had long forgotten this conversation and the affect I had on this person. Why hadn’t I remembered it? Realized that I was good enough to make an indelible impression on someone else? Why do we instead listen to our worst selves? Drown out great praise, the wonderful people we’ve become, to solely obsess over the missteps. It’s taken me a full decade to stop valuing myself in comparison to others and simply do the best I could do. Because that’s all we can do, all that we can offer ourselves and others - our best.

During the two hour ride back to the city, my dad and I had a long, serious conversation about our respective futures. Right now they’re uncertain. We can’t easily predict where we’ll be next year and we know this unnerves us to an unimaginable degree. Because we like control. We like things we can predict. We’re not familiar with playing it as it lays. For a time we sat in silence, and then I said to my dad that all we can do is our best. It’s impossible to fail if we really try. We nodded to ourselves and kept on the ride.

So I offer this: Forget the resolutions. Forget the lists. The ridiculously high expectations we set on ourselves. Strive simply to find your own kind of happiness. Try to remember how amazing you are and everything else is just icing.

When my friend Gillian snapped this picture of me I had recently left a job that caused me a great deal of distress in an effort to pursue the unknown, the other. I remembered being so happy and frightened and thrilled and confused. And I remember it still. But what comforts me during the oncoming uncertain months is the fact that I will try, as much as I possibly can, to do my best.

And if that doesn’t work, why not try my friend Summer’s Screw It Philosophy because that girl is getting shit done!

If you’re in New York, I beg of you to visit the MOMA for South African artist Marlene Dumas’ exhibition. It’s that remarkable.

If you can’t make it, purchase the book. I did.

When I moved to Valley Stream, Long Island from Brooklyn in 1988, I packed my polyester jumpers, sweaters with stenciled teddy bears from one of the stores on Fourth Avenue, and a litany of matching sweaters and sweatpants. My god, I had no idea what I was in for. $10 EG socks! Liz Claiborne handbags, Edwins, Z.Cavarrici jeans - everyone donned a label and everyone who was anyone shopped at The Gap. I was an eighth grade walking fashion disaster. I quickly assimilated, and soon my Spanish lilt disappeared and the teddy bear sweaters sought refuge in the garbage bin. Every dollar I made I saved to buy books, records, and rugby Gap shirts. I wore Gap all the way through college and after, and it never surprised me that a sweater could last eight years, jeans a decade.

Fast forward to now and you’ll find me nostalgic for the perfectly folded henleys and the ubiquitous drawstring bags. And although I’ve come a long way from the frightened outsider looking in, I’m still fond of The Gap - it’s classic. The past few years have shown clothes that are suspect, but this year they’ve gone back to basics - good sweaters, great jeans, and a fantastic line of workout/sleep gear. From t-shirts to cardigans to undergarments, a great deal of my wardrobe hails from the store. Below you’ll find my affordable, quality picks. Because classic is always in style.

The Striped Cardigan in Blue Stripe ($19.99 on sale, pictured left)
Ribbon-sash cable V-neck ($39.99 on sale)
Long waffle knit cardigan ($58)
Ruffle bow blouse ($54, pictured left)
Toile ruffle yoke shirt ($16.99 on sale)
Tuxedo Vest ($32.99 on sale)
Faux-Wrap Dress ($24.99 on sale)
Ruffle-neck Shift Dress ($29.99 on sale)
Belted Coat ($39.99 on sale)
The new V-neck sweater ($39)
Gap Body Pro Fleece Pants - I own these (with matching zip hood, $32.99 on sale) and this is super-warm and soft. ($24.99 on sale)
Printed poplin pajama pants - I’m wearing these as I type ($29.50, although I purchased this at the Gap store in Flatiron for $9.99)

Meet the Sunchoke (otherwise known as The Jerusalem Artichoke). They’re ugly little things, true, but goddamn are they good. They can be found in the root vegetable bin in the produce section, and they look like a cross between a potato and a ginger root. Visiting a friend’s house for dinner the other night she made these as a salad accouterment, and I couldn’t believe something that resembled a potato on its bad day could taste so. very. good. And be so healthy (Jerusalem artichokes are high in iron, potassium and contain 10-12% of the US RDA of fiber, niacin, thiamine, phosphorus and copper)!

There are many ways to fix the choke, however, this is what I’ve been doing over the past few days: 2-3 small chokes cut at 1/4 inch slice, sauteed on a pan with scant olive oil, butter, salt & pepper for 8-10 minutes (until cooked and light brown). Toss a bed of greens (frisse, arugula, and spinach are recommended). Dressing: dice up 2-3 cloves of garlic, toast slivered blanched almonds in a pan, add both to a food processor whilst adding olive oil, salt, and pepper. Toss dressing into salad. Divine.

Recommended Recipes:
Jerusalem Artichoke Gratin: An Unusually Delicious Dish
Sunchoke Gratin adapted from Marcela Hazan’s Essentials of Classic Italian Cooking
Jerusalem Artichoke Pickles
Sunchoke Soup with Pumpkin Seeds
Fennel, Sunchoke, and Apple Salad
Shaved Sunchoke Salad with Parmesan and Arugula
Smoked Brook Trout with Sunchoke Purée and Cippolini Onion

I’m obsessed with cashmere scarves and wraps to the point of addiction. Now that I’m on a fixed income, I’ve learned to be sensible and temper my urge to snap up scarves in bold,delicious hues, and savor my lovely, but small collection of scarves, wraps, and shawls. Let me preface this by saying that I am always cold. I have pastry hands, I’m forever shivering, and I already know that come my twilight years I’ll take residence near the sun and the ocean. So the idea of being swathed in soft fabric gives me creature comfort. In 2001 I scored my first Loro Piana scarves from my defunct dot.com, and I haven’t looked back. I’m discerning when it comes to purchasing cashmere as a fabric once too costly to obtain is now available in mass retailers for bargain-basement prices.

However, not all cashmere is created equal and I consistently adhere to my philosophy of buying one very high-quality item that will last for years (my LP scarves are still in mint condition after eight years of rigorous wear) rather than five cheap ones. Good Housekeeping offers a terrific buying guide to help you find quality cashmere.

So as the temperatures dip and wind chills increase, consider splurging on one of winter’s essential accessories! White & Warren offers up luxe scarves and wraps to keep you warm and chic. Whether you’re complimenting a bare-shouldered evening look or keeping toasty during the frigid winter months, a quality shawl, scarf, or wrap is the easiest and softest accessory. Check out the Wrap Up ($122.50 on sale!), which has been spotted on Gossip Girl Blake Lively or shamelessly indulge in the First Class Travel Wrap ($192.50 on sale!) as seen on one of my favorite actresses, Keri Russell in the January issue of InStyle. I scored this VPL wrap from Scoop NYC for $100 and it is the warmest, softest, coziest garment I’ve ever owned!

Other Fab Picks: Lands End’s Solid Woven Cashmere Scarf (64.50), LL Bean’s Wool/Cashmere Knit Scarf ($39.95 on sale!), Ann Taylor’s Cashmere Colorblock Scarf ($39.95 on sale!), Cashmere Colorblock Wrap ($69.99 on sale!), and Solid Cashmere Wrap ($89.99 on sale!), J. Crew’s Pure Italian cashmere wrap ($228), Magaschoni’s Brick Featherweight Cashmere Large Shawl ($179 on sale at Bluefly!), Vanessa Bruno’s Ribbed Cashmere Scarf ($455), Loro Piana Piccola Unita Cashmere Scarf ($295), Piccola Ethie Cashmere Scarf ($375) and Opera Stole ($995).

For years, I was the victim of the Revlon hair relaxer, tortured by suburban haircuts where I ended up resembling a trapezoid, and a woeful witness to my hair falling out in chunks after an at-home color (post relaxer) that went awry. In 2000, I resolved to get serious about having healthy, shiny hair regardless of its coarse, curly texture. I quit the color, invested in products, maintained my six-week trim appointments, and discovered the life-altering Sapphire iron. I marveled at its iridescent plates and the fact that my hair texture instantly changed. I would endure stray hairs trapped between plates, which resulted in breakage and frizz, and I would develop biceps from holding what felt like a five-pound free-weight rather than a styling tool – all in the name of sleek locks.

Until a month ago when I ceremoniously tossed the Sapphire and embraced the Sedu. Not familiar with the Sedu? Missed my post on the best hair dryer you’ll ever own? Oh my curly hair friends, you should be. After visiting the Cristiano Cora Hair Salon in New York City, and left in the very capable hands of Stefano, I saw sleek like I’ve never seen before. The new Sedu Revolution Professional Nano Tourmaline Ionic Styler (translation: flat iron) features unique, curved-edge plates capable of creating virtually any style. Loose Serena van der Woodsen waves? You got it. Pristine Katie Holmes blunt bob? Absolutely. What makes the Sedu fabulous? Two reasons:

• True Nano Tourmaline Ceramic Technology enables plate to produce a potent mass of negative ions which eliminate frizz and close cuticles to create smooth, shiny hair (my style endured a recent torrential rainstorm). Far infrared heat penetrates hair from within, resulting in faster styling with less damage
• Freestyle Guiding System anti-slip edges capture all hair, preventing the stray snag/damage scenario

A lightweight iron that delivers sheen to my healthy locks, have made me a believer. Now, I feel equipped for looking fabulous for all the post-holiday parties!

Score your Sedu from Folica.com and ULTA stores nationwide for $139.99