the petco incident
this is what NOT to do after three glasses of red wine:
stand in the middle of the PETCO store on the Upper East Side raving about how wrong it is that the store does not carry wellness cat food because little Sophie is home starving and FANCY FEAST SIMPLY WILL NOT DO. While Susan tries to restore order in PETCO, I continue to yell that it is SHADY that a pet store sells cat food that is made with “meat product” and ground-up SQUIRREL and other random animals. Tell me, I ask Susan, do you expect me to feed Sophie ground-up squirrel??!! road-kill?
After we leave Petco and as I carry a can of food which claims to be “natural,” Susan asks me, in a small voice, what’s so wrong with squished squirrel? I tell her that if she does indeed adopt an animal and if she feeds said animal fancy feast, I can no longer in good faith continue our best friendship.
She tells me that I am crazy and I agree.
This is why I don’t leave my house. This is what happens when you have fun on the Upper East Side (who knew?!). You end up hysterical in PETCO. And remembering that you just told your EDITOR and PUBLISHER that you would like a white trash book party (thank you very much) replete with White Castle, Burger King crowns (party favors), string beans out of a can and Oodles and Noodles. Because Felicia, you exclaim, does not forget her roots.
May 30th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
[...] year, i had a nervous breakdown in petco. regular readers of my site are familiar with the petco incident and how i terrorized a poor stockworker, and how my best friend, the chi, had to forcibly drag m [...]